This weekend was one filled with both joy and sorrow. Thanks to the generosity of my parents, I was able to fly out with my brothers to join the rest of my family to celebrate the life of my Aunt Paula at her memorial. We flew in on Friday and Saturday we dressed and headed to the church. We were joined by over 300 others whose lives she had touched.
The service was filled with laughter as we listened to people share their stories of her, it was filled with tears as we watched her life in a slide show. It was wonderful to get to share the day with my grandparents, parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins. After the service we headed to the reception where we visited, ate, and shared stories with one another till it was time for the church ladies to leave (the service started at 1 and the reception ended at 6pm). We laughed over "closing" the church down and how Aunt Paula would have liked that. We all love a good party!
That evening we headed to my grandparents house to eat, watch more videos, and spend more precious time together. There is something so incredibly healing about spending time with loved ones, and we are strengthened by each other.
The next morning we got up, attended church, then went to place all the flowers from the memorial on the graves of my great-grandparents. Then the ladies of the group headed to the Fall Festival in Del Mar. My mom and I had never attended it before, but it's an annual event that all the ladies in my family enjoy so we were excited to finally get to go with them. My aunts, mom, grandma and cousins hit the road, ready to enjoy ourselves! We sent the guys to my cousin's home to watch football!
We had a wonderful time walking past booths, sampling food, joking with each other and laughing. Aunt Pat and Grandma ditched Jenni and I at one point (though they deny this!) and everyone kept running off in different directions, then magically finding each other a bit later. It made me think about how we are often separated from those we love, whether by time, distance or mortality, but in the end, we are always returned to the warmth and shelter of our loved ones.
As we left, we almost lost Grandma as someone (ahem....Aunt Denise) let go of her wheel chair and it rolled away from us with her laughing as she went! Jenni threw the packages into Aunt Denise's arms and grabbed the wheel chair thereby saving Grandma. There were several occasions in our continual conversations when we misheard each other, mistakenly hearing some shocking revelations. Despite things being set straight in time, I still think I've been traumatized by it! We laughed hysterically all the way home.
That evening we all got together once again to celebrate Grandpa's birthday. There was a Halloween party and my cousin Ashely slept over at the hotel with me while my sister Alyssa went and slept over with Sydni. All too soon it was time to head back to the airport and return home. The weekend was filled with tears and sorrow, but it was also filled with joy as we celebrated the life of my aunt, and continued to laugh, to celebrate, to live.
The following is the biography that I wrote for the bulletins used in the memorial service. To list a bunch of dates, times and places did not seem to fit the personality of my aunt, so I asked family members for brief descriptions of favorite memories and/or words that they would use to describe her. While the stories were varied, the words people used were all the same which was both surprising and comforting.
It’s no simple task to sum up Paula Kathryn Castro’s life, and it’s difficult to determine the best way to do so. Some would list all of the important dates in her life, along with milestones and other major events. Others would describe her through words or show her life in a photographic montage. Still others would share stories of their personal experiences with her. A perfect summation is impossible simply because an accurate portrait must be just as complicated as the person.
The youngest of four daughters, Paula Kathryn Murray was born on February 12, 1965 to Dallas and Betty Murray. She later met and then married Henry Castro on July 9, 1988. In 1991 she and Henry welcomed their first child Dallas into their lives on January 15. Six years later they became a family of four when they were blessed with the birth of their daughter Sydni on May 25, 1997. Paula left this world on October 7, 2010, a mere 45 years after her arrival, however those years were filled with events both great and small: dances, grocery shopping, graduations, weddings, shopping trips, births, laundry, baptisms, birthday parties, and family dinners to name a few. The everyday amidst the special, these dates and events don’t truly tell the story of who she was, but they do provide a framework for it.
To describe her, one could use the words: joyous, vibrant, dynamic, fantastic, a matchmaker, witty, funny, loving with a vivid memory, a thoughtful gift giver (and always at the very best price), stand up comedian, stylish.....always, consummate storyteller, hair and make up artist, lover of color, loyal, outgoing, and a joker and prankster. As descriptive as these words are, they only give us a glimpse of her essence.
Whether Paula was out and about or simply sitting at home, life was always an adventure and always filled with laughter. People mention her laughter the most when they speak of her, it was full of energy, inviting, and was so much a part of who she was. We lovingly remember the hours she spent playing pinochle around the family dinner table, the Aunt Paula school of flirting, and driving lost through L.A. with her sister and a van full of kids. Her love of carousel horses and sea turtles. There’s the corn dog incident, and the cockroach story from her grocery store days. She loved watching old films, was an enthusiastic audience to the solider boy dance, and nobody could forget the warmth of her embrace.
She could transform a simple happening into a hilarious event. Every outing with her became an adventure. She knew how to be a best friend, she loved the ocean (especially around Hawaii) and she was tough, as four rounds of chemo is not for the weak. To Paula, family was everything, and she was incredibly loved as evidenced by all those who wanted to help her and take care of her. Her quick wit and sharp sense of humor made everyone want to be around her. Our stories give the dates and events, words and pictures give them more life, but they remain lacking, because she is not here to tell them.
The sum of a life is measured not just in acts, events, dates or pictures, but also in the love that was given and received. Thus we stand as witnesses to a life well lived, celebrating the totality of who Paula Kathryn Castro was. Our weeping has lasted a night, but our joy has indeed come, for we know that God has renewed her strength, He has given her wings, and she shall run and not be weary, she shall walk and not faint. She has been welcomed home with thunderous applause.
The service was filled with laughter as we listened to people share their stories of her, it was filled with tears as we watched her life in a slide show. It was wonderful to get to share the day with my grandparents, parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins. After the service we headed to the reception where we visited, ate, and shared stories with one another till it was time for the church ladies to leave (the service started at 1 and the reception ended at 6pm). We laughed over "closing" the church down and how Aunt Paula would have liked that. We all love a good party!That evening we headed to my grandparents house to eat, watch more videos, and spend more precious time together. There is something so incredibly healing about spending time with loved ones, and we are strengthened by each other.
The next morning we got up, attended church, then went to place all the flowers from the memorial on the graves of my great-grandparents. Then the ladies of the group headed to the Fall Festival in Del Mar. My mom and I had never attended it before, but it's an annual event that all the ladies in my family enjoy so we were excited to finally get to go with them. My aunts, mom, grandma and cousins hit the road, ready to enjoy ourselves! We sent the guys to my cousin's home to watch football!
We had a wonderful time walking past booths, sampling food, joking with each other and laughing. Aunt Pat and Grandma ditched Jenni and I at one point (though they deny this!) and everyone kept running off in different directions, then magically finding each other a bit later. It made me think about how we are often separated from those we love, whether by time, distance or mortality, but in the end, we are always returned to the warmth and shelter of our loved ones.As we left, we almost lost Grandma as someone (ahem....Aunt Denise) let go of her wheel chair and it rolled away from us with her laughing as she went! Jenni threw the packages into Aunt Denise's arms and grabbed the wheel chair thereby saving Grandma. There were several occasions in our continual conversations when we misheard each other, mistakenly hearing some shocking revelations. Despite things being set straight in time, I still think I've been traumatized by it! We laughed hysterically all the way home.
That evening we all got together once again to celebrate Grandpa's birthday. There was a Halloween party and my cousin Ashely slept over at the hotel with me while my sister Alyssa went and slept over with Sydni. All too soon it was time to head back to the airport and return home. The weekend was filled with tears and sorrow, but it was also filled with joy as we celebrated the life of my aunt, and continued to laugh, to celebrate, to live.
The following is the biography that I wrote for the bulletins used in the memorial service. To list a bunch of dates, times and places did not seem to fit the personality of my aunt, so I asked family members for brief descriptions of favorite memories and/or words that they would use to describe her. While the stories were varied, the words people used were all the same which was both surprising and comforting. The Sum of a Life
It’s no simple task to sum up Paula Kathryn Castro’s life, and it’s difficult to determine the best way to do so. Some would list all of the important dates in her life, along with milestones and other major events. Others would describe her through words or show her life in a photographic montage. Still others would share stories of their personal experiences with her. A perfect summation is impossible simply because an accurate portrait must be just as complicated as the person.
The youngest of four daughters, Paula Kathryn Murray was born on February 12, 1965 to Dallas and Betty Murray. She later met and then married Henry Castro on July 9, 1988. In 1991 she and Henry welcomed their first child Dallas into their lives on January 15. Six years later they became a family of four when they were blessed with the birth of their daughter Sydni on May 25, 1997. Paula left this world on October 7, 2010, a mere 45 years after her arrival, however those years were filled with events both great and small: dances, grocery shopping, graduations, weddings, shopping trips, births, laundry, baptisms, birthday parties, and family dinners to name a few. The everyday amidst the special, these dates and events don’t truly tell the story of who she was, but they do provide a framework for it.
To describe her, one could use the words: joyous, vibrant, dynamic, fantastic, a matchmaker, witty, funny, loving with a vivid memory, a thoughtful gift giver (and always at the very best price), stand up comedian, stylish.....always, consummate storyteller, hair and make up artist, lover of color, loyal, outgoing, and a joker and prankster. As descriptive as these words are, they only give us a glimpse of her essence.
Whether Paula was out and about or simply sitting at home, life was always an adventure and always filled with laughter. People mention her laughter the most when they speak of her, it was full of energy, inviting, and was so much a part of who she was. We lovingly remember the hours she spent playing pinochle around the family dinner table, the Aunt Paula school of flirting, and driving lost through L.A. with her sister and a van full of kids. Her love of carousel horses and sea turtles. There’s the corn dog incident, and the cockroach story from her grocery store days. She loved watching old films, was an enthusiastic audience to the solider boy dance, and nobody could forget the warmth of her embrace.
She could transform a simple happening into a hilarious event. Every outing with her became an adventure. She knew how to be a best friend, she loved the ocean (especially around Hawaii) and she was tough, as four rounds of chemo is not for the weak. To Paula, family was everything, and she was incredibly loved as evidenced by all those who wanted to help her and take care of her. Her quick wit and sharp sense of humor made everyone want to be around her. Our stories give the dates and events, words and pictures give them more life, but they remain lacking, because she is not here to tell them.
The sum of a life is measured not just in acts, events, dates or pictures, but also in the love that was given and received. Thus we stand as witnesses to a life well lived, celebrating the totality of who Paula Kathryn Castro was. Our weeping has lasted a night, but our joy has indeed come, for we know that God has renewed her strength, He has given her wings, and she shall run and not be weary, she shall walk and not faint. She has been welcomed home with thunderous applause.
1 comment:
that was beautiful, Heather!
Post a Comment