Today was one of many questions. The kids wanted to know why I hung the flag off the front porch. They questioned my clothing choices. Justin wore a navy blue shirt with an American flag print, and Norah wore a red, white and blue plaid dress. Without getting terribly in depth, I explained that today was a day of remembrance for our country and for those who have made sacrifices to protect it and make it great.
Its difficult to determine how and when to explain tragedy to our young children. Considering Norah and Justin are just 3 & 4 years old, I thought I would delay some of these difficult questions for a later day and put some football pregame on TV while I readied the kids for church. I enjoyed about 15 seconds of bland, mindless, braindead former athlete analysis as I walked to the kitchen, only to see my plan backfire as football nonsense was swapped for footage of the gaping holes in the twin towers engulfed in flames.
I hoped it would go unnoticed since the kids generally tune out once football is tuned in, but with concern on her brow Norah gasped immediately and asked "Oh my gosh, what happened to those buildings? Why are they on fire?" Justin didn't say much but was obviously surprised and confused as he turned to me for answers. I found a lump in my throat and could only manage to say "Ummm, well...," while I looked for the remote control and tried to figure out what I could and should say.
A new image of many families holding pictures of their loved ones flashed on the screen, bringing another question "Why is that lady holding a man's picture?" The lump was still in my throat as she asked her next question "Were those people inside the building?" TV OFF.
I did not want to address this topic today, and somehow was unprepared to discuss it. I didn't want to overemphasize the horror of the occasion, the massive scale of lives lost, or the hardened hearts of those whose atrocities set it in motion, nor did I wish to seem unsympathetic or untruthful. Don't come across as a blubbering wussy or a brash, revenge minded bully. My best effort at a balanced answer could do little more than convey that some very angry people did something very bad to intentionally set the buildings on fire and many good people were hurt or killed. "So they made a bad choice?" Yes, they did. "Was Jesus mad at them?" Yes, I'm sure he was, but he teaches us to forgive even when we've been hurt.
To this day I'm still enraged every time I see a 9/11 program, and I'm relatively certain that will never change although I try to forgive. I'm encouraged not from my words, but from Norah and Justin's reactions. I'm encouraged that little children without explanation know right from wrong even in a 10 second video clip. They recognize people in pain and feel sympathy. They know we have a choice in our actions, they know there are associated consequences, and they know to whom we are accountable. Hopefully this knowledge they already possess will serve them well throughout their lives as they will undoubtedly confront many actions difficult to forgive. If we could just teach some adults what kids already know, we might get somewhere.
Its difficult to determine how and when to explain tragedy to our young children. Considering Norah and Justin are just 3 & 4 years old, I thought I would delay some of these difficult questions for a later day and put some football pregame on TV while I readied the kids for church. I enjoyed about 15 seconds of bland, mindless, braindead former athlete analysis as I walked to the kitchen, only to see my plan backfire as football nonsense was swapped for footage of the gaping holes in the twin towers engulfed in flames.
I hoped it would go unnoticed since the kids generally tune out once football is tuned in, but with concern on her brow Norah gasped immediately and asked "Oh my gosh, what happened to those buildings? Why are they on fire?" Justin didn't say much but was obviously surprised and confused as he turned to me for answers. I found a lump in my throat and could only manage to say "Ummm, well...," while I looked for the remote control and tried to figure out what I could and should say.
A new image of many families holding pictures of their loved ones flashed on the screen, bringing another question "Why is that lady holding a man's picture?" The lump was still in my throat as she asked her next question "Were those people inside the building?" TV OFF.
I did not want to address this topic today, and somehow was unprepared to discuss it. I didn't want to overemphasize the horror of the occasion, the massive scale of lives lost, or the hardened hearts of those whose atrocities set it in motion, nor did I wish to seem unsympathetic or untruthful. Don't come across as a blubbering wussy or a brash, revenge minded bully. My best effort at a balanced answer could do little more than convey that some very angry people did something very bad to intentionally set the buildings on fire and many good people were hurt or killed. "So they made a bad choice?" Yes, they did. "Was Jesus mad at them?" Yes, I'm sure he was, but he teaches us to forgive even when we've been hurt.
To this day I'm still enraged every time I see a 9/11 program, and I'm relatively certain that will never change although I try to forgive. I'm encouraged not from my words, but from Norah and Justin's reactions. I'm encouraged that little children without explanation know right from wrong even in a 10 second video clip. They recognize people in pain and feel sympathy. They know we have a choice in our actions, they know there are associated consequences, and they know to whom we are accountable. Hopefully this knowledge they already possess will serve them well throughout their lives as they will undoubtedly confront many actions difficult to forgive. If we could just teach some adults what kids already know, we might get somewhere.
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